I'll show you a traditional and offbeat way how to avoid useless conflicts in Japan. It is in our Japanese genes. You would be surprised to know it.
If you had your foot trodden on accidentally by someone, you might be angry with him or her, but you would never say "Sorry", or never make an apology. However, Japanese people will apologize in such cases to one who trod on their foot. I'm sure you are confused. The one who was stepped on says "Sorry" to the one who stepped on the foot, and vice versa naturally. This is called "Ukatsu Ayamari", which is considered to be one of the fundamental manners of Japanese people. "Ayamari" means an apology, "Ukatu" means unnoticed. The one who had his foot stepped on apologizes for not noticing another's coming and letting his foot get in another's way. Likewise, when ordinary Japanese bump into someone, both of them say sorry at first in Japan. If it occurred in other countries, what would happen? I'll leave it to your imagination.
Anyway, "Ukatsu Ayamari" is the commoners' wisdom to keep harmony and evade unproductive arguments. Such a sense of public morality is one of the reasons for the low crime rate in Japanese society. However, it's regrettable that this "Ukatsu Ayamari" often produces misunderstandings between Japanese and other people.
(Vocabulary)
tread on sth ＜…＞を踏む, 踏んづける
a sense of public morality 公徳心
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